a thousand words

Saturday, July 11, 2009

REVENGE OF THE HO

The Hos Are Winning. 

After the turbulent feminist revolution, American women claimed a stellar victory for the Real Woman. Suddenly, women were smart and powerful. They were still sexy but with it was not gratuitous and degrading (and if it was, it was on her own terms). She became CEO’s, Senators, Vice-Presidential candidates, commanded the Starship Voyager on TV and in real life flew the Space Shuttle.

And men elevated too, rising to meet the Real Woman with Real Maleness. Society flourished and the newly freed females allowed us all to seek the best in ourselves and our world.

Then something went wrong.

Someone conspired to topple the newly independent woman. An unholy cabal set out to create a new role model. The conspiracy took hold and slowly breast size went up, IQ’s went down, men started going shirtless for no reason and Paris Hilton got a TV show.

The Ho claimed their revenge.

Now when I say Ho I refer of course to a person is generally devoid of principle and talent and lives their lives a in a quest to elevate form over substance . So yes, I am talking about us men, too. In fact, we are the biggest hos of all, especially in Washington and on Wall Street.

The new millennium Ho is everywhere. You cannot read anything, watch anything or buy anything without seeing their half naked bodies, grinning faces and empty eyes. He’s pulling down his pants in clothing ads, jiggling her boobs in films and they are even on national news programs, masquerading as reporters with clean shaves faces and gi-normous breasts. But they’re not fooling me. I know they’re hos, devoid of reason and intellect and just a thong away from the Ass Channel.

But the best evidence is the phenomenon of the Celebrity Ho. These people attain notoriety just because they had sex, are pretty or related to someone who was rich or famous. You might find them on the internet in a porno, a reality show-- or the Republican national ticket.

And if you like reality shows, then you are witness to the biggest ho-a-thon in history. This is where hos go to compete to see who’s the biggest void of talent or who gets to be a host on “The View.” And I don’t watch The Bachelor” but I’m betting they could change the name of that show to “The Ho and The Hos Who Want To Marry Him.” Talk about The Biggest Loser.


We must reclaim our nobility, people. We have to stop encouraging this reversion. Just because you choose to make a living with your brain doesn’t mean you’re worthless. And just because you’re born pretty doesn’t mean you’re interesting and should be on Fox News. We are locked in a blood-feud with the Ho and we are losing; losing our nobility to people with tattoos on their asses and the final frontier in their heads.

So, it’s time for drastic action. We must point them out for all to see and yell out: J’accuse ho!
People of substance on CNN.

Hos back on the pole.