a thousand words

Friday, May 28, 2010


After French Derriere Faux Pas, Venus Decides Two Butts Are Better Than One.

PARIS - Venus Williams stunned tennis watchers last week with flesh colored underwear. She easily won her opening match but it was her bum that made a lasting impression.

Today Williams stunned the French again by replacing her head with another ass.

"Everyone here loved my butt so much, I decided to add another," said Williams in a pre-match interview. "The new head/ass is a real asset. It really scares my opponents but you don't wanna be standing in front of me when I sneeze."

French Open officials delayed the match for a half hour while the judges decided whether Williams could play with the second ass as her official head. Many other players cried foul saying that it is unfair to have to look at someone's butt when you serve.

Once they made the call, Venus went out to play and destroyed her opponent, Arantxa Parra Santonja in round two.

"That shit was nasty," said one American onlooker. She was arguing with the official and I almost threw up."

But the French men had a decidedly different opinion. "We love it!" exclaimed Jean Valaux a tennis enthusiast. "It is very erotic the way she wears it. It is lovely coming and going, eh?"

American men were split along racial lines. White men tended to think it was bizarre if not offensive, while African American men gave it the thumbs up. Lasarius Green Jr sad " a nigga would need four hands for all that!"

Sources report that to make the new head/ass, Venus borrowed from her sister Serena who has, shall we say an over abundance of posterior.

I was so glad when she asked me," said Serena. "I really needed to lose a little of this junk."

Odds-makers say Serena and Venus will meet in the finals and they give the edge to Serena. When asked if she will feel funny looking at her sister's rear end, Serena just laughed and said. "Not a chance. Venus has been showing her ass since we were little."