Famed singer severely beaten after Detroit concert when he tried to enter an all black strip club.
Ronnie Dyson - Dumbass White Man Monitor.
DETROIT - John Mayer was in critical condition after a savage beating which started after he tried to get into a Detroit strip club with an invalid Nigger Pass.
Mayer, 32, who's hit single Waiting For The World To Change made him a star shocked and enraged people when he claimed to have a "hood pass" and made racist comments in a Playboy interview:
"My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick."
After seeing these comments, an organization called NOYA called an emergency meeting and revoked Mayer's Nigger Pass without prior warning. LaSarius Green Jr., the President, issued a cryptic statement in some kind of code: WMOHON. Several anonymous sources told us this is an acronym for White Muthafucka On His Own Now." Which means all privileges in the black community protecting him from harm and allowing him to act like a black man are revoked.
Mayer is known as a playboy and has dated many high-profile celebrities, including actress Jennifer Anniston. Privately, Mayer has amassed a reputation as a man who has a big mouth, will sleep with anything and has been in sex addiction counseling. One actress said he is called "garbage cock" behind his back. Another said when John visits, she hides her dogs.
After a Detroit concert, Mayer tried to get into an all-black strip club called Bubble World. When he was told his pass was no good, Mayer became belligerent and used the "N" word several times. Security was sent it. Mayer was severely beaten and an ambulance was called.
Ironically, after the assault, his penis was missing.
Medics say it was not severed or torn away in the brawl. It was gone as if he had never had one. A witness, Glennissia Wilson, a nude dancer who goes by the stage name Lickety Split. said she saw Mayer's johnson detach itself and run away.
"Dat little shriveled white thang just jumped off and ran like a slave who got caught with a white bitch in his bed!," said Wilson. "And it was wearing one of them KKK hats, too."
Mayer insists that he still has his member and denies claims that his penis ran off to D.C. to join the Tea Party because it heard they were "a bunch of unorganized dicks." He also says that he deeply regrets the statements he made. He apologized to all blacks and actress Kerry Washington who he said was "white girl crazy."
Some have suggested that Mayer was high during the interview, the he had smoked a fat one right before the people from Playboy started the session. One source close to the interview refuted this claim saying that Mayer is "just another ignorant ass white man with a little fame-- and no dick."