a thousand words

Friday, May 28, 2010


Republicans use “Crazy but hot” to sell their agenda.

I’ve noticed a trend in Republicanism lately. Many of the women who spew the talking points and “God should be President” crap are really nice looking, I dare say beautiful. Do you care what Sarah Palin’s views are in Going Rogue? Or do you just remember her in those cute glasses, her nice hair and running shorts? Do you care that Carrie Prejean continued the dehumanization of gays in the national media or is she's just hot as hell in that white bikini? And what was bigger, Katherine Harris’s thievery of history in Florida or her boobs?

"Crazy but hot" seems to be the prerequisite for Republican pitch women. Michelle Malkin is as nutty as a peanut factory but every time I see her I am put at ease by her stunning beauty. Of course, by the end of her rant, she looks like the Crypt Keeper but she got my attention. Now when I see her I flip.

It’s as though the Republicans know they have nothing to sell so why not put it in a pretty package? It's like: “Hey, here’s a box of crap but the box is 18k gold. If you never open the box, you can enjoy how gorgeous it is.”

But open it and it’s shit.’’

I think we are buying the goods, people. The media, ever the whores that they are, are all over Sarah Palin. Even Oprah got into it. But would we even care if Sarah Palin wasn’t so cute? Are we so shallow now that even as we dismiss her for being empty-headed that we glorify her because she was born with good genes?

And why are so many good-looking women buying the Republican line anyway? I think it's because the tenets of female equality require you to have substance and these people ain't got none. It's easier to fake intellect than good bone structure. This raises an interesting question about Americans: Who are we? Capable and plain or pretty and stupid?

I think the Republicans are doing this on purpose. I think they believe that we have fallen into ultra doofus mode and cannot distinguish the message from the messenger. “She’s saying stupid shit, but she’s sooo pretty, maybe I’ll believe it.”

This is trouble because lets face it the democrats are ugly. The Obamas are nice-looking but I think Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi cancel him out-- with points to spare. The democrats need to find some hot chicks to fight back. They should make sure they don’t have libraries of sex tapes (like Prejean) first, though.

This can be done easily. Hollywood is the home of the liberal so lets get some of them. Ben Affleck likes politics and he looks real good in a suit, though Clooney looks more like a President. And who could not pull the lever for Scarlett Johansen? And she’s already in the President’s Blackberry.

So step it up CNN and MSNBC, go on over to the Playboy Mansion and get some correspondents. Pull a news anchor or two from the Victoria's Secret catalog. How about some in-depth coverage on the scocio-political implications of radical Islam and American nation-building from Meagan Fox. Because lets face it, Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann ain't good-looking enough to take seriously.

Okay, I’m making light of this phenomenon but I agree with Newt Gingrich who said “No one should underestimate Sarah Palin.” Consider this: Palin is a good-looking joke, right? Well, there was another politician who was known for his looks and whom no one took seriously.

His name was Ronald Reagan.