a thousand words

Friday, May 28, 2010



CALIFORNIA - Orly Taitz, the California attorney-dentist leading the charge of the so-called Birthers Movement was deported yesterday under an obscure law dating back to the early 1800’s.

The Birthers are a group of people who argue that President Barrack Obama was not born in the United States and is therefore not eligible to serve as president. Obama’s birth certificate and all credible evidence show that he was, in fact, born in Hawaii.

Taitz and others were brought up on charges under The “Bad Hat” Law. This law was enacted by President James Madison during the War of 1812. A Bad Hat is an old term for one who cast aspersions on the good works of the faithful government during critical times. In today’s parlance, a bad hat would be commonly referred to as an asshole.

The law reads in part:

Any citizen who by speech or print undertakes action, which by extreme deception undermines the President or government during times of war or other crisis, will be deported according to the procedures of the applicable federal agency, in the name of THE PEOPLE and for the betterment of the country.

Taitz was turned in by a patriot group calling themselves NOYA.
Obama: Actually in charge

While the President has taken upon the task of getting the economy back on track, ending the war, improving international relations, getting universal health care and straightening out the Cambridge Police, Taitz and her followers have been supporting their country by showing how a man who would do all this is really against America.

Detroit native LaSarius Green, leader of NOYA stated that he was tired of Taitz and many Republicans who are trying to deny support for the Birthers and at the same time trying to undermine the President.

“The bitch gotsta go,” said Green, who was just acquitted of assault charges against several Wall Street bankers in New York. “These people are hateful and this shit is ridiculous. This is a good law. When some fool talks shit up in your house, you throw them the fuck out... well you know, unless you live in Cambridge, then they throw you out, ha ha ha ha ha!”

Green then confirmed that NOYA is an acronym for Negroes On Your Ass.

Under the law, when you are deported, you must go back to your land of origin. As it turns out, Taitz, whose maiden name was Malde is really of Middle Eastern descent. Her family name was Maliddad and was changed upon coming to America.

So, Orly Taitz is on her way to Iran.
The Bad Hat Law

Thelma Wilson, 35, a neighbor of Taitz in Orange County is happy to see her go. “She was a nuisance,” said Wilson, a fellow dentist. “Let see how smart she is when it’s 105 degrees and her pale ass is in a Berka baking like some cornbread.”

The law is of course having a tremendous impact on politicians. “Roy Blount (R) Missouri and Birther supporter says it’s unconstitutional, then added how nice Obama’s hair was. FOX News commentator Glenn Beck retracted his statement that the President was a racist insisting that Obama was a nice man with “a pretty jump shot.” And former governor Sarah Palin is so scared that she hasn’t spoken for two days.

In a shock to Republicans, former Vice-President Dick Cheney denounced the Birthers, saying “We don’t need to lower ourselves to cheap insults and tricks. We should stick to the plan of insulting Obama with thinly-veiled racist comments.”

Lawyers have mounted an opposition to the old statute but for now it is the law of the land, so like mama used to say: “Watch your damned mouth.”