GENEVA – After President Obama called Kanye West a “jackass” for his mind-numbingly insensitive stunt at the VMA awards, world leaders around the globe took notice.
Kanye’s antics were so shocking that the leader of the free world stopped making history to express his shock. So it wasn't long before other world leaders jumped on the bandwagon.
After reviewing the footage of West interrupting 17-year old Taylor Swift’s moment at the awards show, several world leaders agreed to declare Kanye West an international asshole.
UN Resolution 45-B officially states that the erstwhile rapper is no longer welcome in key countries in Europe, Asia and South America. Australia did not join the resolution, nothing that since Aussie actor Russell Crowe hit a guy with a phone, there’s nothing they can do about this kind of behavior.
West joins an infamous list of assholes including Osama Bin Laden, Eco-polluter Bromley Corp. and “that annoying talking baby on the TV commercials."
Japanese prime Minister, Yukio Hatoyama said he voted to put West on the list because of his people. “The Japanese people are very spiritual,” said Hatoyama. “West’s spirit is tainted. Also, his last CD was whack.”
Nigerian President Umaru Yar'Adua, went even further suggesting that Kanye was not of African descent. “Yes, he is dark but so are those Indians. Perhaps he’s one of them. We have enough problems in Africa.”
Even local celebrities weighed in “I was outraged,” said singer Chris Brown. “No man should intimidate a woman like that. It was shameless. Can I be famous again, now?”
“I don’t get it,” said Michael Vick. “I went to jail for hurting some damned animals. Kanye embarrassed a woman, Chris Brown beat up a woman, OJ killed a woman and none of them went to jail for it! I’m not real sure what irony is, but I think this might be it.”
West had no comment but to say he was sorry. Sources report he was out looking for rehab centers, buying more fruity-looking outfits and planning a concert tour in Sydney.