LOS ANGELES - Look out Braveheart, a gang of black men calling themselves P.O.N. (gotta stand for pack of niggers) have put out a hit on actor Mel Gibson.
As we all know, the actor left a voicemail insulting his girlfriend and babymama and said that if she got raped by a pack of niggers it would be her own fault.
P.O.N. who say they cannot control their natural animal sexual instincts, specialize in going buckwild on white girls but thought Gibson's comments were offensive.
"First of all," said P.O.N. leader Dr. Piston, "we ain't some fly by night rapist crew. We do it right and when a woman wants it, we deliver-- in spades."
"Mel done fucked up," said P.O.N. member Cyrus, "he said what he said like being in a band of sexually crazed black men is a bad thing. It's all a matter of perspective. One woman's gang bang is another woman's birthday present."
P.O.N. has vowed to catch Gibson then give him a dose of thug love.
"We ain't gay or nothing," said Dr. Piston, 'but we gonna ride him like a racehorse on Red Bull. Then we'll see what he has to say about the brothers."
Not all of the members of P.O.N. are so eager, though. P.O.N. member Rayshawn said he has doubts. "I really dig Mel's movies, ya know? I mean he was all Lethal Weapon Mad Max and shit but what he said really hurt me, so I guess in the end, I'd have to get all up in his man-gina but you know my heart won't be in it, you feel me?"
Our interview was then temporarily stopped when Rayshawn made a rude comment about Cyrus' mother in German and a scuffle broke out. Dr. Piston quickly quashed it.
Gibson's camp is not worried about the threat. PR sensation Polly Dans said "if we see them coming, we'll just toss a Popeye's Gift Card on the ground and watch them tear each other apart for it, or maybe we'll whip out a book and watch them burst into flames like vampires."
No matter what happens it's clear this story is not over yet.