Tuesday, March 22, 2011
CHARLIE SHEEN AND 80 HOOKERS SAVE WISCONSIN WORKERS!
The bad boy actor says since the politically whorish Democrats won't stand up for unions, he will bring some real hos to do the job.
WISCONSIN - Governor Scott Walker and the Republicans of Wisconsin surrendered today in what is being called Sheen-A-Palooza. Actor Charlie Sheen arrived at the capitol building with two bus-loads of hookers 80- in all wearing Ronald Reagan masks and carrying signs that read: 'Ass for Votes!" Charlie's 80 angels then went to every Republican in the legislature and "traded" them for votes.
"This is what politics is all about." said Sheen who recently declared war on his producers on the hit sitcom Two And A Half Men. "I think it was Jefferson who said: Politicians are just ugly guys who need a hot, nasty girl."
Sheen said he was jumping into the fray because his show was shut down and the Democrats are a bunch of "weak little pansies." Since the assault on unions, not one major Democrat has come to the aid of the embattled workers. Sheen, a devout liberal says that Republicans are serious people.
"Look man, right after the midterms, they secured the tax cut, won a case for corporate political financing and now they are trying to cut off liberal funding. These motherfuckers are no joke! They are in it to win it, They are like uncut coke on a $10,000 a night hooker with three titties!
We asked Sheen if he liked any Republicans and he had this to say: "I have to say the Republicans do have hot chicks. That Michelle Bachman, I'd definitely like to sit on her subcommittee."
Embattled Wisconsin Democrats on the run are happy to be coming home. "People are all over us for running away." said one Senator. "But remember Abraham Lincoln once jumped out of a window to avoid a vote. I'm not a coward, I'm Lincoln-esque."
Sheen's women did the trick as the legislature voted unanimously to let the state union stay as is. "Some of the state reps were homosexual," said Sheen. "I didn't plan for that so, I had to jump into the breach and take one for the team... actually I had to take three."
So the job is done and Sheen is taking his show on the road to Indiana and other states. "I'm on to something here," said Sheen. "When you think about it, there's no problem you can't solve with some dope and a hot chick. When I'm finished in America, I think I'll take these hoes over to the Middle East and solve that little ruckus that got going on over there."