ARGENTINA - Satan was killed yesterday in a daring daylight raid on a hillside villa in Rosario. The raid was carried out by the Navy Seals lead by President Obama. The tip came from former President George Bush who sent Obama a text message with Lucifer's location in it.
Satan has been living in Argentina after WWII ended in 1945. Sources report that this time, Obama actually killed Satan with his bare hands after scolding him about Sin, the Holocaust and Justin Bieber.
In America, however, reaction to this has been mixed. Sarah Palin says she doesn't believe Obama killed anyone and the corpse they brought back could be any "ten foot reddish man with horns and cloven hooves."
Michael Moore refuses to give Bush any credit saying that the former President wasn't smart enough to send a text message. Moore goes on to say that Obama was wrong for killing Satan who deserved his day in court. Moore, who pisses on liberals and conservatives would only admit to liking hamburgers, saying "Hamburgers should be President."
Obama is said to be upset. For the first time, he has said privately that race may be a factor in why some will not give him a break. "Satan is the most hated thing in the universe," said the President. "Who can I kill that's more despised than him?" Someone suggested Lady GaGa but Obama nixed the idea.
Meanwhile, the debate rages on. Ideologues refuse to celebrate the demise of everything evil and choose to use the President's heroic action and the former President's assist as an excuse to deny the fact that cooperation always yields positive results.
"Killing Satan means nothing," said Donald Trump. "You should see my first divorce settlement. Now that was hell."