a thousand words

Sunday, June 23, 2013


CHICAGO - Clarence Wilson never saw it coming. He had just left a local supermarket when a white man approached him. An argument ensued, then the white man said the word nigger. Witnesses report that Wilson's head exploded on the spot.

Police and medical were dispatched but it was too late, Wilson was gone. The assailant, John Billingsley, swore that he had no idea that the word could actually kill black people. He said he was just trying "to piss Wilson off" in the debate about who was the best basketball player of all time. Jordan or LeBron.

"I didn't call him anything," said Billingsley. "I just said it in a passive, non hateful way. I don't understand it."

Paula Deen lost her job because she said the word and many black people have stated that it is a word filled with mystical juju and power.  Others have said that it's just a word and folks need to stop trippin.'

"Dat nigga's head just blew the fuck up!" said Orlando Tillman, a witness to the incident.  "I mean, BLAM! Like in the movies. And I swear fo' God, before the pieces fell, it formed what looked like a waffle and a drumstick."

Al Sharpton and other black leaders say this is a sign that the N-Word needs to be outlawed.

"It's a vile, filthy word," said Sharpton. "The government should issue a tax every time it's said and the proceeds should go to a community fund to be administered to the people, through my organization, of course."

President Obama was asked whether the word should now be banned and he had this to say:
"Words have power and we should all be aware that free speech shall never be curtailed as long as the citizens of this nation stand tall and come together over our differences as one people aligned to the democratic principles that bind us all." 
A crack team of translators are working on what the fuck this statement means.

Dr. Vincent Rayland, a black psychologist says the head explosion was not the fault of any word. "I've heard that word a hundred times and I'm still here.  Mr. Wilson made his own head explode because he's overly sensitive and frustrated about race relations. He did it to himself.

Police released Billingsley without a charge, noting that there was no law against saying a word, even if it may have killed a man.

The incident has already become urban legend. Jay-Z is making a song about it and Quentin Tarrantino is making a film called "World War N" where he says all the dialogue will be the word, "nigger."

I for one, can't wait to see it.

© 2013