10 RULES OF PUSSY MANAGEMENT By Guest Blogger Kizzy Toussaint

10 RULES OF PUSSY MANAGEMENT

by Kizzy Toussaint

I have finally codified my thoughts on Pussy Management. If you hate that word, get over it, because I will be using it a lot. If men can grab it, I can say it.

First thing you have to do, is learn not to be offended by all the terminology for it. And we should not be offended, because it’s the most valuable commodity in the world.

Did you hear me?

You are sitting on the most valuable commodity in the history of woman and mankind. And just like money, stock or real estate, you need to know how to manage this asset. Most women think they know this by birth but that’s not so. You have to learn how to manage the pussy or you will waste its value on bad deals from the never-ending machinations of men.

So, let me go over the 10 Rules Of Pussy Management:

Rule 1: Pussy is the most valuable commodity in the world.

Rule 2: Pussy is more valuable than Dick.

Rule 3: Pussy is a depreciating asset.

Rule 4: ABF: Always Be Fucking.

Rule 5: NBF: Never Be Fucking.

Rule 6: Pussy Management Necessitates Pussy Maintenance.

Rule 7: Pussy ain’t free (a/k/a Dick is Not Earned.)

Rule 8: Pussy + Freaky = Death Star.

Rule 9: There is no such thing as a Ho.

Rule 10:  Pussy is Power and with Power comes Responsibility.

Rule 1: Pussy is the most valuable commodity in the world.  

Men spend 80% of the day thinking about ass, so a properly managed pussy is a pre-sold asset. Also, woman can have babies, men can’t. Without us, the species dies end of story.[1]

Men know this, so they have for centuries carefully crafted a plan to deprive you of your God-given right to control your pussy. They seek to fool you and depreciate your asset with a societal mind-fuck. 

But how Kizzy? How are the men mind-fucking me? 

Glad you asked. Here's a simple one. Women were told that they should approach sex and relationships like men, give up centuries of female strategy that protected the species and the family and focused men's aforementioned sexual obsession to a greater good. And the result? Women giving away pussy. 

Mind. 
Fucked.

Rule 2: Pussy is more valuable than Dick.

I don’t care if the woman is blind, cripple, half dead or on a reality show. Her vagina is worth more than a thousand dicks. Don't believe me? Consider this: Pussy is so good, some men fuck women after they are dead. Let's move on.

You ever see those big women with kids in the trailer park or the housing project? Most of you probably shake your heads and say, “Damn, look at that fat bitch.” But do you know what I see? I see a woman who despite not being attractive, got a man to screw her and create a life and life opens the door to a world of possibilities. So, you think, “Well, a man will fuck anything.” I say see Rule #1.

Rule 3: Pussy is a depreciating asset.

The value of pussy declines. Once you are, let's say, 18 or so, your pussy's value in society slowly goes down. You don't even notice this for the first 10 years or so, too busy screwing like a man, most of you. So the asset has to be sold for whatever it is you want while the price is right. You want a husband, kids and a picket fence? Get married early; trade while the value is high.

The best trick men have pulled is the Myth Of Equality.[2] They have served up this fallacy that men and women are equal. We are not.  From this trick, comes the Myth Of The Appreciating Pussy. This lie tells women that their pussy appreciates with time based upon the notion that money, education and wisdom make people think more of them sexually. It’s a lie and a bad one. The asset declines with beauty and that declines with time.[3]

Acceptance of Rule #3 is essential to Pussy Management. It is not a trick, a perception or some kind if cruelty. It’s the truth. Now for certain, a woman herself is more valuable over time but a woman is not her pussy and pussy is not a woman. Shake your fist at the sky but accept it, you must.

Rule 4: ABF: Always Be Fucking.

Not literally, of course. But sexiness is the idea that you could be doing it, that is, letting some man have some. I’m not talking about flirting, teasing or hanging out of your clothes like some thirsty, cock-chasing groupie. Good Pussy Management means initially, the perception of pussy is better than the reality of it. A smart vagina owner controls this perception and places her asset under layers of intelligence, class, grace, humility and above all, modesty.

Rule 5: NBF: Never Be Fucking.

No, I’m not talking about celibacy.  I’m talking about moderation and discretion. You know how many guys you’re fucking? As many as people know about. This means don’t give it to loudmouths, pretty boys and idiots. If you do, then you have mismanaged your asset. Sometimes, you just have to say no. And I know it’s hard but see Rules 1 and 2 and Rule 7 below. Just because you can fuck, doesn’t mean you should.

Rules 4 and 5 are tricky because at first blush, they seem to oppose each other but if you are smart they are not. To ABF is to create a perception that your pussy is worth any effort because you dole it out with great discretion because you NBF.

Get it? Good.

Rule 6: Pussy Management necessitates Pussy Maintenance.

A woman must use all of her assets to full effect. What’s the point of having a pussy, if you keep it in a paper sack? Keep the body tight and right. Don’t starve yourself to death, just be healthy. Even though men will fuck anything, it is the quality of men that increases when your asset is managed and maintained.

Rule 7: Pussy ain’t free (a/k/a Dick is Not Earned.)

As with any valuable commodity, pussy must always come at a price to the receiver. Now men don’t want you to think this because well, the only thing better than pussy, is free pussy.

The corollary of this rule is dick is not earned. As we know by now it’s not an accomplishment to get some man to screw you. I see women all the time bragging about the man they laid with. Really? That’s like expecting a high five for breathing.

Rule 8: Pussy + Freaky = Death Star.

In Star Wars, the Empire had the ultimate weapon, that could blow up your entire planet. A properly managed pussy along with knowing how to satisfy in the bedroom is like the Death Star. Any planet of noncooperation a man brings can be blown the fuck up.[4]

Rule 9: There is no such thing as a Ho.

Hate to ruin it for so many people, but the idea that accepting value for your pussy is wrong, is yet another, you guessed it, Mind Fuck. Men went so far as to outlaw it. Why? Because it deprives women of power. Pussy Management teaches us that demanding value for the pussy whether it be love, respect or cold, hard cash is not evil, sinful or debasing. It is the natural order of things.

Rule 10:  Pussy is Power and Power comes with Responsibility.

Most women know that their asset has value, how much is the question. But most never think about the responsibility that comes with it. We all know that you could get pregnant or get a disease but that responsibility applies to you. I’m talking about the Pussy Manager’s responsibility to the world.

Men have strong urges and so do not think as well as they see and feel. If you are mismanaging your pussy, it will always tend to lead them to give in to their lack of control and that ain’t good for nobody.

“But Kizzy, why is the burden always on women? Shouldn’t men learn to control their shit?”

It is the job of the Pussy Managers to keep everything in control. If men could control their urges, it would shift power back to them. They would withhold sex, charge women for children and basically control us with their asset. This is antithetical to nature. That’s why it’s called pussywhipped and not dickwhipped.

Women who believe that every female burden must be borne by men in equal measure have fallen prey to the false equivalency mind fuck. They are argumentative and pissed that their asset comes with such an awesome responsibility. All I can say is, you can’t give it back, bitch. Also accepting value for Pussy Management lessens the burden of responsibility.

So that’s it. Follow these rules and you will be the proud owner of a properly managed pussy. Also, we must teach Pussy Management to our daughters, nieces, cousins and friends. I know it’s gonna be hard. We’ve already lost a generation, so we have to grab the youth and turn their heads toward the light.

Now, get to managing. [5]

-KS

---

[1] See, The Vagina Dialogues.

[2] Also known as The Myth Of False Equivalency.

[3] If you’re a woman and you’re thinking “What about men? Does their shit decline, too?” Go back and read rules 1 and 2. And if that doesn’t do it then stop reading this, you’re too dumb to understand it.

[4] And you know how the Death Star had that one weakness that the rebels exploited? That would be your pride.

[5] Kizzy Toussaint is an author and blogger. You can find her novel, Slam The Trick on Amazon.

Copyright 2014

BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK

THE PERCEPTION OF RACE IS NOT COLOR. IT  IS SOMETHING MORE DISTURBING.

Recently, a Black actress friend of mine told me that her manager advised her to use her British accent in an audition in order to increase her chances of getting a job. When she asked him why, he said bluntly, "If they know you're not from here, they will think you're more interesting."

More interesting? I thought as my hand started to break the coffee cup I held. Of course, this germinated in my brain for a long time and now it's coming out.

In 2008 we elected our first Black President. People quickly pointed out that he was really only half Black and that black part was not from this country. He spoke well, was intelligent and decent, you know, not like the rest of us and so was deserving of consideration.

Well, this really ushered in an even bigger notion of ethnicity, the "non-black or un-black and the black skinned non-American." Obama was Black, but not really, American but not the descendant of slaves. Six years and a government shutdown later,  un-black blackness is de riguer in our nation. And I am not talking about some esthetic notion, I'm talking about actual unblack people.

In music, we see this most commonly. There was a time when "blue-eyed soul" was an actual term. Now, all the white people sing like Black people. While we weren't looking, they just jacked our swag and started giving each other awards.

As everyone knows, the Rhythm and Blues Grammy categories were started because Blacks were initially left out of the music awards and rather than have black and white compete, we created separate but equal trophies.

Now, we don't even win those anymore.  I like Justin Timberlake, but really? My man is Black until he hears a siren, then he'll turn back white faster than you can say wardrobe malfunction and Eminem was all niggy with it until he got on the wrong side of a felony and then Marshall Mathers showed up in court in a suit and tie looking like Paul Ryan.

SNL went through hell just to hire one black woman but Mindy Kaling has been on TV in her own show for two years now. Okay, they whitewashed her on the cover of that magazine but she still got the cover. My point is, she's dark but not black, the same way some actors are black but not American.

What the heck am I getting at?

Racism is clinging to the ledge of a tall building and we are stamping at its fingers. But it's hanging, on, trying to find new ways to exist and hide its filthy, evil heart. Apparently, darkness is not the thing that drives racism, it's something under the skin, fused to the bones of American history. You see, when dark skin is linked to the legacy of slavery, murder and oppression, it makes certain people feel bad, guilty and dare I say, afraid. And in this happy ass age of false perfection, no one with any affluence wants to feel bad for one second about anything, ever.

So, a dark Indian girl is preferable to a Black American woman, a British black man is not so worrisome as one born here, or a Black American descendant of slaves is worse than say, a half-white descendant of an African national who was raised by white people in Hawaii.

Are you kidding me?

How thin is the knife that splits that hair?

But I will not lay this at the feet of others. If the image of black people is devalued or not valued at all, we can blame ourselves for that because we don't stand against it. If we want to give everyone a pass who steals our culture, denigrates our images and feeds us their idea of who we should be, then, again, it's our fault.  

And maybe we shouldn’t care so much what other think of us and start valuing ourselves. But that would come with responsibility, a sense of community and a self-love that we have not had for a long, long, time. Well, better start practicing your cockney accent because American blackness is beginning to look like an empty basket at holiday time.

© 2014

OLYMPUS HAS (REALLY) FALLEN

A lot is being written about my beloved Detroit. It is sad, harsh and undeniably true. But what worries me is not what they are saying. It is what they are not saying.

They allude to it, using phrases like “racial issues,” “social conflict,” “underlying resentment” and the like. What they are really talking about is the fact that blacks and whites in Detroit have hated, resented and fought with each other for decades over the fact that God made us with different skin.

The wounds that have healed in other cities (or at least have scabbed over) remained fresh in the D for years. There’s a lot of blame to go around for this and naming names is just useless now. We all know the players and many of them are dead. What started as hot blooded odium turned into cold, impenetrable and muted antipathy over the years. And after a while, no one even talked about the history of it; it became axiomatic, a basic truth: the white people were racist and the black people were unworthy of respect.

Let me be clear: Detroit has fallen because black people and white people could not find their way to humanity over their history of violence, racism and oppression.

Don’t get me wrong; all the other factors are relevant, too. The economy, mismanagement, globalization and NAFTA all played a part but in the end, the choices that sacked the city were not made by political parties, laws or economic theories; they were made by men and women.

And what governs the hearts of people? Love, compassion or the lack thereof.

When blacks took the city by political process, electing its first black mayor, there was a sense in the community that we had won, defeated white people at their own game. We had suffered two riots and countless acts of bigotry, violence and legal discrimination. It was a victory won by courage, faith and built on the dead bodies of slaves, revolutionaries and sainted men.

And out of this grew pride and more than a little gloating. “And the white people will fight us, we thought. They will stand in our way, hope for our failure and do everything fair and unfair to see us fail.”

In white communities, there was panic, fear and anger. “How dare those inferior people take the city that we built, these workers who cleaned our toilets and shined our shoes just a generation ago.” The blacks would fuck it up they thought, they don’t know anything about running a city. In the end, their true nature would win out and Detroit would come to ruin.

They were both right.

Blacks could not find it in our Christian hearts to forgive the past and build for the future and Whites could not accept a shift in power to dark faces and turn away from a history in which they were superior to others.

Many of us tried. Some blacks and whites tried to work together but it wasn’t enough. Mostly, the brothers in Detroit waited for the whites to come back to the city.  And while we waited, we kept a man in the mayor’s office for 30 years who made sure that would never happen, a man who lacked the vision and the temperament to take us into the new millennium. 

But we had no idea that whites would rather build citadels out of farmland and forests than live and work with us. Oakland County grew to the nation’s fourth richest, while Detroit turned into a municipal husk.

And for my people, the black people, we have far worse things to worry about than who lives in Manoogian Mansion. We are at the lowest point in our culture since the Civil Rights Movement. Our families are destroyed and our children turned asunder. Much like a black President, our symbolic ownership of Detroit did nothing to stop our slide into our current social abyss.

So go on and think the black “city manager” means that race is not a factor in Detroit’s takeover. Go on and think Governor Snyder and his team did not set out to end black power. Keep denying what is before your eyes and we will be doing this again in 2113 when the black and whites lose the city to the Latin-Asian majority.

And for me who watched the tanks roll in ’67, watched the Tigers, Pistons and Red Wings become multiple champions, who loved Faygo and Better Made chips, Buddy’s Pizza and Bill Kennedy, I say goodbye to the town I grew up in. You were loved but love doesn’t keep a city alive.

Love for your fellow man does.

© 2013

Like Fathers, Like Sons

How many times must we walk this terrible path until we see the pattern of loss and injustice transcends race and calls upon us to do the same not symbolically but in reality?

When the O.J. Simpson verdict was read, I remember white people crying and a group of black students who cheered. They felt justice was served against a terrible legacy of injustice. I felt sick, like a killer had gotten away with murder.

I also remember Fred Goldman's face.

He looked as if someone had reached into his chest and pulled out his heart. I remember thinking that man is going to fall dead any second now. I hoped I would never be the owner of that countenance and I hoped that I'd never see it again. Well, I did.

On the face of Trayvon Martin's father, Tracy Martin.

No one wants to talk about these two cases. People want to say the Simpson/Goldman murders are old news. Tell that to Fred Goldman who never got to see his son marry and have kids. Tell that to Tracy Martin who's now in that same living hell. Or tell to me, who just got off the phone with his son reminding him that his worth as a human being is not decided by criminal cases or the perceptions of society.


There are many murders in our nation. The media decides which ones are presented to be national news but we the people decide which ones actually become those national concerns. Zimmerman's case grabbed us all because it is a clear reflection of something that I had hoped was no longer true: apparently, we still hate each other.

The Civil Rights Movement gave way to Political Correctness, this code of fake civility intended to never make anyone feel bad.  But what it also did was taught bigots and other evil people to hide and it left everyone in a field filled with landmines, where saying the wrong word could cost you your livelihood. And the arbiters of this social justice is our media, which has as much integrity as Chinese steel. (See? I shouldn't have said that)

The races have integrated but it was a social integration not a personal or spiritual one. We are better than we were, but do we really know each other? Do we actually care? Or do we just say what's expected, what's safe, then secretly get with people who are just like us and vent our anger and frustrations?

Technology is pushing us all further apart as we trade actual conversation for sending tweets. As a result, the fringes of both races and ideologies are working hard to keep us apart, because without continuous animosity, none of them know how to make a living. (This is where I see Al Sharpton and Ann Coulter working at a diner arguing over how dark to make the toast)


I want all of the people protesting the Zimmerman verdict to think of Ron and Fred Goldman in your righteousness. I want you to resist splitting hairs and using lawyer analysis to make differences in the cases so you can always be right. Because there is no right here.

Ron Goldman was just as precious as Trayvon Martin. And Tracy Martin is just as worthy of justice as Fred Goldman.

I want all the people who support Zimmerman to consider that you have picked a criminal and a miscreant as the poster boy for gun rights, self defense or whatever it is this man is supposed to represent.

Think how you felt about the Simpson verdict and know that others now feel that grief.

Think of O.J.'s smug-ass face as he smiled and danced out of the courtroom over the headless corpses of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.

Then think of Trayvon Martin dead on his back 180 degrees from where Zimmerman said he landed, with no DNA from a bloody fight and no fingerprints on a gun he grappled for.

Zimmerman is just as guilty as O.J. And neither case was about justice but the failings of our still struggling society. We will not talk to, argue with or fight each other about race, so we hide behind political correctness and use these media cases to do it for us.  Here's a big revelation: No one is winning.

And if you think either of these killers is innocent because of his race, our racial history as a nation, the bias of the media or the legal system, then you just oil the machine that keeps producing this filth and these empty, heartbreaking verdicts.

Also, you need your head examined because they both, black and white, got away with it.

©2013

"North" by North West

©2013

BLACKS, VOTES & MURDER

So often I have said that America cannot prosper without its living soul, the descendants of the slaves who help to build this nation then suffered another century of atrocities on the path to equality. This week, we can see very clearly that this journey is far from over, that the value of America's black citizens is still very much in question.

Paula Deen, George Zimmerman and the Supreme Court's decision on the VRA illustrates how far we have to go and why we are still a very racially divided nation.

Paula Deen engaged in offensive and degrading behavior toward black people for years and no one said anything. She is not a bad person to be sure but that she saw nothing wrong with Plantation Weddings and comparing a black assistant to a blackboard ("Move away from that board, Hollis we can't see you.") speaks volumes about how arrogant she was about race relations. 

The Supreme Court defended equal rights for gays to marry but the day before sent a gut punch to blacks for whom the voting rights act was written. If we had not seen widespread voter suppression in the last election, no one would care but the same concerns that lead to the law being passed are still very real concerns today. And a day before that, SCOTUS dealt another blow to using race as a factor in college admissions. 

And George Zimmerman is on trial for murdering a boy because he was black. The Zimmerman case is the worst news of all because it devalues black life to the maximum degree. He and his attorney have actually pinned their hopes on their belief that the fact of being black presents a threat for which an appropriate response is death.

All of these events are connected by the issue that does not exist in a colorblind society: race.  and yet, here we are with voter suppression, a celebrity career in ruins and a man on trial for his life all because we have not and will not solve an issue that divided this nation into bloody conflict.

Even as our media tells us that race doesn't matter as much as it did in the last generation, race is causing seismic shifts in every area of life. The jails teem with black men, the black unemployment rate is twice the national average, the black family has been decimated and the black marriage rate is at an all time low.  Even our black President smacks us on the head and tells a crowd of black male college graduates to "be responsible."

We are over nothing, people.

Race still divides if not defines us here. And we can sweep it all under a rug until the bulge is as big as a mountain but that will change nothing. Paula Deen is now a villain for saying a word that's said a thousand times a day on radio. Southern states have already moved to uses age old tricks and deceptions to deter certain groups from voting.

And Trayvon Martin is still dead.

THE COWBOY'S REVENGE

The American cowboy is back with a vengeance, just as manliness is taking a beating.

My father loved a show called Gunsmoke, which was for a long time, the longest-running show on TV.  My cowboys were violent and ruthless. They didn't wait to shoot a bad guy and damned sure wasn't interested in taking him to prison like  Sergio Leon's Man With No Name Django and Trinity.

The cowboy disappeared for a long time until Clint Eastwood (who played the Man With No Name) brought them back with the oscar winner, Unforgiven. Then slowly, the cowboy returned to  films like Tombstone, Wyatt Earp and The Cowboy Way.

In the meantime, the moral ambivalence in our TV heroes had changed into full-out villainy. The TV show The Shield was a game-changer for TV cops. It's hero was a dirty cop whose morality was as fragile as the tin star he wore. Don't get me wrong, The Shield is a great show because it contained good men and women who were cops but it brilliantly focused on a man whose morality was a reflection of a society whole values had changed. At the same time, the cops and hoods in The Wire raised this theme to cinematic poetry.

But now there are some new sheriffs in town.

Justified's Raylan Givens, Hell on Wheels', Cullen Bohannon, Django and Longmire's Walt Longmire all have the best of the old and the new.  The are strong, kind, moral and take no shit.  But they also understand society's river of darkness and how their job navigates it. And whenever they need to, they will dip into those waters and then--look out.

In stark contrast to the many anti-heroes on TV, you know, the vampires, werewolves, serial killers, drug dealers and dirty cops, the millennial cowboys echo John Wayne, Gary Cooper as well as Vic Mackey and The Man With No Name.

And judging from the previews of the new Lone Ranger movie, the man behind the mask is out for revenge and bringing hell with him.

And the cowboy has come back just in time to slow the decline of masculinity we are now seeing in American culture.

In the western-themed movie, No Country For Old Men, Tommie Lee Jones as Sheriff Ed Bell gives this long speech about dreams he had of his father, telling us that his kind, the hero, is going to pass on, leaving us with the psychopath Anton Chighur are our new alpha male.

I think the new cowboys in that picture above would disagree with that.

And so would I.