THE VAGINA DIALOGUES

The Nasty, Venal Conversation About Who Controls A Woman's Body Can Be Ended By A Simple, Profound, Yet Crazy Sounding Plan. 

There's a terrific BBC show called Downton Abbey.  It's set in England in the 1900's and it has no black people in it, so of course it has become a cult hit in America.  It is also set during the last part of the Victorian Age, when men owned everything and power and wealth could only pass through male heirs. Women were pretty much considered property.  

The current dialogue in our Congress and media about women's reproductive rights would fit right into Downton.

Some time ago, I wrote an article about respecting female time and how it was different from male time.  Well, female power is also different from male power and this is the whole problem right now. 

You see, when we attacked gender bias and disparity, we made a mistake. By and large, we tried to attain equality for women through the acquisition of male power.  But we didn't try hard enough to acquire equality through respect for female power. 

Female power.  Noun.  1. The ability to do something or act in a particular way that is uniquely tied to being born female, esp concerning human reproduction. 

What the hell am I talking about you ask?

I'm talking about the fact that there are things about men and women that are naturally different, anatomically, psychologically and anthropologically (if you wanna get into that).  So instead of trying to attain equivalency by giving women access to manly things, we should have fought harder to get support for those things which are uniquely female, things that our society often associates with shame or guilt.

Instead of making condescending jokes about reproductive cycles, outlawing and stigmatizing prostitution and burdening women with the blame for out of wedlock birth, we should have fought harder to teach subsequent generations to respect and admire the way a woman's body works.  This would have made it easier for men to let go of the property myth and stop fighting women for control of their bodies. (a fight we cannot win, by the way)  But instead, we spent a lot of time on equal wages, same sex bathrooms and hyphenating surnames.  All noble causes, but lacking the foundation of respect for inherent female power; they did little to change minds.

And now men are trying to put cameras where the sun don't shine. 

Honestly, the same culture that can bend radar waves around a plane, split the atom and teleconference with China on a tiny phone wants to force metal into a woman's womb?  It seems asinine at best and barbaric at the worst and aren't vaginal probes how these women got into this fix in the first place? (Rim shot)

At one point in human history, great civilizations worshipped women as the givers of life and sharers of God's greatest power: creation.  This was called The Sacred Feminine. This was written about in The Da Vinci Code.  The Hindus are one of the remaining cultures to worship God on earth through women.

There's an old joke that if men had periods, then there'd be a three day holiday with pay each month.  Babies would come with big fat tax breaks and bronzed placentas would be hanging from the grilles of SUV's.

Crazy right?  But is it any crazier than five types of erection pills you can buy damned near over the counter but a morning after pill that you have to know the President to get?  Or being called a slut by a national radio host if you argue for your rights?

In a better world, a woman can do whatever she wants with her body and it's between her and God.  If she wants to sell it, rent it or mortgage it, it's her burden and society would give the same support to this as it does for anything that flows inherently from men.

By the way, I don't like this.  My initial reaction to this logic is one of rebellion.  The thought of women with sexual, reproductive, intellectual and financial power makes me feel a little inadequate.  But any argument against this humanist notion finds me embracing denial and ignorance or arrogantly throwing up bible quotes that I interpret to justify my position but which I don't really understand.  And so, I am forced against my manly nature to see the clear path of our progression.  And besides, being a man is still pretty  awesome too. 

Women are not going back into the chastity belts, fellas.  They're inventing Spanks and getting a cool billion for it.  And our daughters are not keeping their virginity by abstinence but by doing things you don't even want to think about. Sorry, but this genie is out of the bottle and it ain't going back in no matter what politicians spew.

So let's finish the dialogue and get to the real problems of our society before it's too late.

Okay, I have to go and watch another episode of Downton. Some poor girl is in need of a dowry.

© 2012.