a thousand words

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


Why Are Idiotic White Men Fixated On Michelle Obama's Ass? Just Stop Looking At It-- If You Can.

Here we go again. Another moron has said something negative about the First Lady's posterior. “Fat Butt Michelle Obama,” said Bob Grisham, a high school football coach who was surreptitiously recorded by one of his students.  (He was suspended later) Add to that Rush Limbaugh and Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner, the Wisconsin Republican, who both commented about FLOTUS' assets and you get a notion of what's in the minds of these men. But guess what?

I'm with you fellas.

Not in the way you said it, but in what motivated you. Michelle Obama is fine. Oh yeah, us fellas all know it but we are respectful because she is married, a mother and a symbol for the world. But since you brought it up, she's hot, man. And I know what you think when you see it. "I could not handle that!" And you would be right. Which is why her husband is the President, the man who can handle it, who got it, and kept it.

Underneath this levity is something all of us dark types know but do not discuss a lot. The sexual history of our women with white men is deep, dark and has built part of the complex relationship between the races. But just like "Scandal" everything must come to light. Sure, these men are supposedly insulting Ms. Obama but like my mother would say: "What you doin' looking in the first damned place?"

Let me be clear, ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL but my appreciation for women began with women of color and so my mind was focused on their particular attributes. I like what I see in the mirror and so I naturally sought out my compliment in the manner of a woman. It is what most people do. Most races stick to their own but men and women develop an appreciation for all forms of beauty and in the end, we all know love humbles us all and changes everything.

Still, why you lookin' at Michelle Obama's ass? 

Because she is 5"11 and that's a lot of female real estate, it is formidable and awesome and you're a man who thinks about sex 85% of the damned day.  You want it but you're not sure you won't get lost in it so you insult her like that fox who couldn't reach the grapes on the vine.

Michelle Obama has the body of a healthy 48 year old black woman. And so the unstated mandate that she have the body of Heidi Klum is ridiculous, bigoted and shows how little respect you have for women. 

Still, I know you like what you see and so I am giving all men permission to enjoy the visual treat that is black women and their God-given pulchritude. And that goes for you too, black men who have fallen off your admiration duties. 

We shouldn't have to keep defending a body type to people who are intent on being assholes but this bears discussion. The first black First Lady has reshaped the way the world sees black women, their history their beauty and yes their asses.  And so detractors are pulled by their hate into insults the reveal their secret desires and shortcomings.  

So, I see this as more evidence of what we always knew was true.  These angry men should free themselves, stop dogging FLOTUS and reach out to that black female co-worker you've been afraid to have coffee with.  Get rid of your secret cache of black girl porn and go find a real black girl to make porn with.

There's a saying in black culture: "Kiss my natural black ass." It is an insult sure but "natural" is the part I'm concerned with. The saying refers to the fact that we acknowledge who we are, what we look like and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off.

So angry men, stop embarrassing yourselves.  Stop revealing how concerned you are with your own fantasies.  Stop acting like a big butt offends you.  Be good to yourself and admire what God has made for us men to see.  And if you don't like Michelle Obama's backside, you can kiss her natural black ass.

Then again, I bet you'd like that. 

© 2013