I wanted to get to the bottom of all the anger about Black Lives Matter v. All Lives Matter and so I just asked them to both sit down so we could talk. We met at a Coffee Bean in Beverly Hills.
ME: Good to see both of you. Let's get to it. Why all the drama over which saying is the best?
BLM: It's not which is the best, it's which one is true.
ALM: See what I mean. He's saying all lives don't matter.
ME: I think he's saying neither saying is true.
ALM: That's crazy. Of course All Lives Matter and so do black ones but as a subset of--
BLM: We are not a subset of you. That's your problem, you think everything begins and ends with you and if anyone contests it, you want to kill them.
ALM: Whoa! No one said anything about killing. Calm down now.
ME: He's got a point, we're just talking. Maybe caffeine was not a good idea.
BLM: Why is it that every time black folks do anything, here come white people to make a copy of it, add some sprinkles and then try to say they invented it? We can't have nothing, not our music, our style, our swag and it seems now we can't even have our suffering, you want that, too.
ALM: A lot of black people believe in All Lives Matter, you know.
ME: Yes, I see many of them saying it as a unifying thing.
BLM: They are lost, unable to intellectually understand this simple concept because we, all of us have been conditioned to devalue black lives and weaken self-determination. We say: "Black is beautiful!" You say "Everyone is beautiful!" We say: "Black Power!" You say: "Power to the people!" We say: "We want the funk!" You say: "Play that funky music white boy!" But in every instance, you say nothing until we say it first, only proving that your goal is to steal or undermine our efforts.
ALM: Black people are not the only ones dying. All of us are suffering out there. All Lives Matter is a rallying cry for unity not a negation of your movement.
ME: But it's like when programs are created to help blacks because of historic oppression and then one day it says "minority" and the whole thing is diluted.
ALM: This is useless. Cops kill more white people than black.
BLM: Not per capita and the media should be showing all the deaths by cop not just the black ones. Maybe then white people will not believe that somehow black people are behaving in some strange negro manner to get themselves killed.
ME: We gotta wrap this up, guys.
ALM: He just wants to keep people separate. I want to bring folks together. All Lives Matter wants everyone to be protected against violence and not always have one group out there fighting without benefit to everyone that suffers. How is that wrong?
BLM: Events in real life prove that Black Lives do not matter, so then all lives by definition cannot matter unless you feel that black people are not in possession of humanity that is deserving of love and protection. This is the lie inherent in All Lives Matter. They don't believe it and they are lying so that law enforcement can continue to protect the chosen people. Black Lives Matter is a hopeful statement we want to be true and once it is, All Lives Matter can be said without it sounding fucking stupid.
ME: Well, okay them. See you guys out there