Republican Gangsters, Democrat Bitches

The GOP are gangsters.

And the Democrats are their bitches.

I know it sounds funny because all politicians are lying, corrupt pieces of shit. But I am not talking about morality. I'm talking about strength, aggressiveness and "Don't-Give-A-Fuckery."

And we know this from our gangsta education. Don Corleone beheads a horse to get what he wants, Michael whacks everybody while christening a baby. Joe Pesci kills Billy Bats for telling him to get his shine box.

In politics, it's the same: Mitch McConnell, steals a Supreme Court pick because he can. George W. Bush starts two wars because nobody had weapons of mass destruction, Donald Trump betrays his country and becomes President then commit extortion and treason in plain sight and is acquitted by his conspirators on national TV.

Correspondingly, the Democrats are a bunch of weak punkasses who will not own their corruption. Democrats get majorities and will not move to change economic disparity. Democrats fight amongst themselves and lose an election they should have won. And now they throw each other under the bus while the GOP laughs in their faces and ends the American Republic, replacing it with an supremacist autocracy.

I don't like either party because they are all corrupt, like our system. The difference is, GOP embraces this and the Democrats resist, opting instead to pose as moralists even as they are outed all over the place as immoral. Don't get me wrong, both parties want to screw you. The Democrats just want to use protection. The GOP wants to impregnate you, force you to have the baby and then incarcerate it for free labor.

And why? Why is this so? Well, it's not complicated. Conservative philosophy is about not giving a fuck about your fellow man because you have crafted a God that forgives you for it. Liberal philosophy is about pretending to care about your fellow man, appeasing the same God, but never really helping your fellow man and blaming it on the Republicans.

Real Gangstas don't care. Michael Corleone murdered Hyman Roth, even though he was already dying. Mitch McConnell passed a tax bill that will enslave your grandchildren and forever create a ruling class and then he had a Kentucky bourbon. Meanwhile, over on Bitch Island, the Democrats commit 600k to defeat their one of their own progressive candidates and allows a billionaire to buy his way into a debate.

The Democrats used to be gangsters. FDR was a serious OG. If anyone threatened the New Deal, he threatened them with the end of their careers. He threatened to pack the Supreme Court with new justices until they did his bidding and ratified the New Deal and they did it. JFK was a gangster. Missiles in my backyard? Fuck you, Russia. Shit, JFK was so G, in the end, they had to take him out gangster style. And yes, Bill Clinton was a gangster. Faced with impeachment for a blowjob, he outed every politician and his mistress on Capitol Hill. This is why there was such vehement opposition to Hillary. A female gangster scares the fuck out of everybody.

If the Democrats ever want their power to actually be used to help people, they will stop their charade, especially when it comes to black people, who they treat like an Irish consigliere, and embrace their inner gangster. America after all was founded on violence. I know taking the high ground feels like evolution from that, but in politics it is not. A good politician, if there is such a thing, will purge all of his immorality in the execution of the greater good. Don Corelone did bad things, but never to innocent people and he always did it for family.

Protect the American family, Democrats. Cut off Bill Barr's head and put it in McConnell's bed, slam Mike Pence in the trunk of a Cadillac, go to the bathroom in Congress, then come out blasting, leave the gun and take the political cannoli. Grow a spine and do it now.

Or go get your fuckin' shine box.

Copyright 2019