a thousand words

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Solution To The Black Man Shortage: Billionaires

Lucas: Billionaire, Hobson: Sister
After years of searching, the solution was right in our faces. 

Black women complain all the time about not being able to find a man. You are looking in the wrong place, ladies.

You need a billionaire.

Apparently, billionaires love black women!  There is something about having more money that God that draws them to the beauty and power of the sisters. I think this is a good thing and just what we need to stop these black women from all their complaining about men. All we need is about ten million billionaires.

Now, I know what you're thinking.  There ain't that many billionaires and where is the Sister/Billionaire Hook Up Bar? Well, I didn't say the shit would be easy but given how bad things are, it's at least a start.

If we look at this philosophically, these billionaires are just free men, strong and confident and unafraid of what anyone thinks. Money will do that.  So, we can fill in the gap between the 1,210 billionaires we have and the ten million we need with men who have these qualities, those who think like a billionaire.

So fellas, if you want one of these highly coveted specimens of femininity, there are plentiful.   I see them all time and many of them are available.   And here's the best part: I think they will forgive you for not having the billion dollars in your bank.

If you have it in your heart.

copyright 2013

Friday, March 1, 2013


I was asked what I thought about the Oscar hosting and if it was good or bad. The answer is much bigger than the host and the always subjective opinions to it. And as the great Steve Martin said, "Comedy is not funny."

Humor has changed because our society has changed.  An intolerant and conservative society, gives comedians lots of taboo subjects to use as fodder for humor and promote edginess.  In a more permissive society, comedy has to push the envelope because tolerance levels are low and nothing is taboo.

We now live in a nation with 55% out of wedlock birth, 24 hour porn, Real Housewives talking about blowjobs and vagina grooming at 10 in the morning.  We are also slowly getting dumber and dumber everyday.  So what does a society find edgy and funny when very little is taboo? Meanness and stupidity.

Much of comedy has become insults and kicking people while they are down.  We revel in the pain of others and understand that any subject is fair game because we are now an enlightened, progressive society.  Today, the three stooges would have to really gouge each other's eyes out to get a laugh.

Sure, there are many clever witty comedians (see below) but this is not about them, this is about us. Look at what we value in society now: talentless celebrities, non-singing singers and success without accomplishment.  Why would we want to think about humor or find something clever?  That takes too long.  Let's just make fun whoever has fallen down, or is defenseless, "Lindsay Lohan is a ho!" (chortle chortle).

Seth MacFarlane was doing comedy for a new generation, one that wasn't in that theater and one whose movies are never nominated for awards.  He tried to blend the new humor with the flair of old Hollywood and what we got was something neither generation had any use for, the comedy equivalent of a rotary phone with a Twitter feed.

So what do we do?  We can't go back to comedy that thinks we don't have genitals and gay people don't exist.  But neither can we go on to a world where calling a nine year old a cunt is supposed to be funny. 

Or maybe we should look at those men and women who always knew how to be progressive, edgy and intelligent at the same time.  They knew that relaxed morals still meant all the troubles of a relationship, that a family blended, fractured or broken is still a family.  And they knew where to draw the line and what a funny line it was: