a thousand words

Monday, August 23, 2010

NIGGER INCORPORATED

With A Rash Of White Celebrities Using The Forbidden Word Lately, One Man Has Made His Dream Come True By Obtaining A Copyright On The N-Word

by Gary Hardwick on Friday, August 13, 2010 at 6:59pm

HOLLYWOOD - At a table read this week producer Mark Gordon used the word nigger while doing a scene from the film Blazing Sad

dles, Dr. Laura on her program used the word nigger seven times in a five minute period, even asking why whites can't say it if blacks do? Mel Gibson famously told his estranged wife she would get raped by a pack of niggers and we all remember Michael Richard's famous rant at a comedy club.

LaSarius Green Jr. noted activist and shirtless man has been trying to copyright the N-word for ten years. This week in Superior Court he finally got his wish.

"My argument," says Green, 33, "was that white people ar

e using the word without retribution. This means it's no longer a bad word and can be used as intellectual property."

Green immediately licensed the word and started a company called Nigger Incorporated. Their motto is "Just say it."

Since the President took office, race has been percolating under everything we do. "White people have become angrier and angrier," says Green. "They don't feel superior anymore when they see a black President and the next thing you know, they yelling Nigga!" Green also pointed out that his copyright extends to nigga, nig, nugga and nucka. He also has cases pending to own spook,coon splib, spoogie, darkie, coon and jungle bunny.

Nigger Incorporated hopes to bring back some of the popular "nigger products" of the early l900's only modernized. Green has many products planned including a soft drink, a phone and a car he wants to call The Whip.

Sources report that Green is getting offers in the millions to license his new word. He also wants a royalty every time it's uttered. He says a fair fee is $12.50 per use. "Shit, Quentin Tarrantino and Samuel L Jackson gonna owe me big!" exclaimed Green.

Everyone isn't happy about this, however. "I find the N-word completely offensive," said a popular black comedian. "Also, I can't make a living if the word isn't bad. I'll have to throw out half my act." The KKK and several rap labels have also threatened to file suit if the word isn't allowed to stay offensive.

Others are quite happy about the ruling. "This is great!" said Ben Jealous, President of the NAACP, "Now we can let the "N stand for what everyone is always thinking." Also elated were many anonymous white people who said they hate how the Blacks change their name every forty years or so. "This way, we'll always know what to call them," said a New Jersey woman.

A Times CNN poll showed that 57% of Blacks favored taking the stigma out of the word while 40% said no. The other 3% are still trying to figure out if Mariah Carey and Drake are black or white.

No one can say how all this will play out but one thing's for sure. Nothing in America will be the same.

Green had some final words for people who think they can use his word without compensation.

"Nigger, please."

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