War No One's Gonna Win.
I've had it, fellas.
I'm tired of all the finger-pointing, pontificating, soap-boxing and philosophizing about black women and why they are struggling with relationships.
I've had it, ladies.
I'm tired of all the whining, denial, accusation and unilateral logic that goes into why we are in this predicament.
And before you think to hit the comment button and except yourself from this discussion, I'm saying right now that no one is excepted. And I don't want to hear any "I'm talking about a certain group of women or men" either. This is just another cowardly dodge to hurl a dagger then hide behind subjectivity. I am generalizing as that is the only way to have an intellectual discussion and not place ourselves above the other inferior men and women who are not here-- and thereby we learn nothing.
We are all in this shit together.
There is a backlash against black women. If you Google "black relationships" you will find an avalanche of articles talking about how black women can't find men and then going on to outline why.
All of the attention has focused on women this time, their attitudes, their weight, their hair, their outlook, their sexuality, their spirituality or lack of it.
A generation ago, it was black men who were the scapegoats for the crumbling black family and culture. All of the articles were about how deficient, stupid, lazy and evil we were and how women were the innocent victims. Now it's the other way around with black women being cast as arrogant, man-hating vagina tyrants and black men as put upon good guys just looking for love.
It's bullshit. And we all know it.
Everyone in America is struggling with relationships. The overall numbers are not good for any group but as usual for us, the stats are devastating.
I have a radical suggestion for you fellas: Maybe women are not to blame.
And ladies I have the same suggestion for you: Maybe the men are not at fault.
Who would benefit from black men and women going at one another? Certainly not us.
In 1712, a man named Willie Lynch purportedly gave a speech outlining a plan that would forever keep the black slave weak, ignorant, dependent and self-hating. This plan went into effect and stayed there for over a hundred years. This is the sum of it:
Don't forget you must pitch the dark skinned slaves versus. the light skin slaves. You must use the female versus the male, and the male versus, the female. My plan is guaranteed, and the good thing about this plan is that if used intensely for one year the slave will remain perpetually distrustful.
After we were freed, our minds remained enslaved to this conditioning. Over the years, we have rebelled against it, fighting it with "black power," "black is beautiful" "say it loud" and the like.
And even with all of our enlightenment, we cannot see that the current trend in sister-bashing is just another evolution of Willie Lynch's genius and an opportunity for pandering dumb-asses to empty their bitterness and relationship failure into mean-spirited discussion.
Willie knew if women believed they were greater than their men that we'd never see eye to eye and no man would ever be good enough.
Willie knew that if black men hated themselves, and were denied opportunity to provide for their families, they would naturally turn away from their compliment and no black woman would ever be good enough.
And the real innovation of Lynch is that the program was self-perpetuating, that is, they only had to do it once and then we'd do it to ourselves.
Fellas, I guarantee you that if every black woman became submissive, skinny, white-looking and freaky it would not solve your problems in this country.
Ladies, I guarantee you that if every black man grew to 6"5, wealthy, God-fearing and endlessly romantic it would not solve your problems.
Unless we all release the Big Lie.
You see, if we turn away from all of the conditioning that teaches us to hate ourselves and punish all desire connected to ethnicity, then we effectively reboot our brains and our hearts.
Then we are everything we want and everything we need.
Because we set the standard.
Not those who would control us.