Friday, May 28, 2010
10 is the new 70 - 1970 that is
and Action Remind Me Of Days Gone By
Why are all the white people so mad?
Why are the black folks so mad?
What's with all the spitting, name-calling and teeth gnashing? Seriously, people are buying guns, talking about secession, twelve governors are suing to stop the Federal Health Care Bill because they think Congress got it wrong and a group of black militants want to take it to The Man, okay he's a Black Man but it's still fist-raising stuff.
As you all know I haven't been black since last fall. And I am ashamed of what my white brothers are doing.
You see, I think we're afraid.
The Black President actually did something and some of us have no faith in it because in our hearts we don't think black people are as good as we are. Moreover, if they are, then some of us have to deal with a life that once promised us superiority by birthright and now wants us to wallow in the choppy waters of equality.
We have a Black President, some chick is Speaker Of The House and gay people want to get married.
Just when I turn white, it's not worth anything.
How will the world work if I have no skin advantage? Sure, I say we're all equal but that was just nice politically-correct talk. No way black people are as good as me. We win all the wars in movies and we even kill blue people, take their women and become chief of the tribe.
How can Obama do anything right when he's connected to the people who always die in the second act?
Okay maybe I'm panicking. Obama is half white and maybe this health care business came from the white half. He should designate which part of his ethnicity is doing this shit. It would make us feel better and lower a lot of people's blood pressure.
Obama's not really all that black, you know. But we may have to do the Sammy Sosa on that wife of his.
Also, the black people are mad. They all got together and criticized Obama in Chicago. They had Tavis Smiley, who kept talking about love even as he criticized Obama.
Cornel West: I never understand anything he says but everyone says he's brilliant. I think he's a few bones shy of a slab and I keep expecting him to pull out a hat and ask me for a dollar.
Farrakhan, who is an electrifying speaker like I've never seen. But unlike Obama he definitely scares white people.
They even rolled out Jesse Jackson and he didn't rhyme not even once. He's got some new guy named Michael Eric Dyson to do it for him. I don't know this man but when you have three names like that, it sounds like it should be preceded by "the suspect."
You know, this is just like the 70's. Racism out in the open, illegal wars, civil unrest, black folk talking militancy.
Shit, all I need is an Afro, a pick with a fist on it and Pam Grier in a halter top and I'll be able to wear my bell bottoms again.